The Sexy Factor
I was going to post an outfit today, but the pictures I took annoy me so instead, it's Farrah!
She just looks so low maintenance and fun to be around. Who knows if she actually was, but I think I aspire to have that kind of look. I want to look sexy, but not high maintenance. So many of the actresses and celebrities these days seem to take themselves and their sexiness so seriously. They go in Maxim magazine and have these sultry photos in fancy lingerie in order appear sexy- since we all know sex sells. Then we all think that we have to be sex goddesses in order for men (and even for ourselves) to think we're sexy. Cosmo tells us all the time how to please men, and what bras and panties to buy to turn our man on, and how to have the best orgasm of our lives. I just wish sexiness wasn't so overt. I suppose it makes my own brand of sexiness more rare and, if we take a note from economics, low supply means high demand (right?). Haha!
I think the one celebrity who I think of having this low-maintenance, subtle sexiness is Zooey Deschanel. She has a joy and glow that radiates from her, and she doesn't have to be brooding or underdressed to be sexy.
It's hard for people these days to find their own brand of sexy, since the entire world (or so it seems) is telling all us girls to show cleavage, shop at victoria secret, and buy KY intense in order to feel sexy. I think it's a whole lot more simple than all that, and certainly more inexpensive:
Smile more -
Feeling good about yourself is kind of a feedback loop, if you will. The more you smile, the more you feel happy; the more you feel happy, the more you smile! And if you're happy, you're more likely to feel good about yourself and your life. Sexy people always seem to be happy and content with their lives. We all have our "problem areas" but if we just try to smile more and be more content with our lives in general, those problem areas will seem like far less of a big deal.
Look pretty -
Looking pretty is different for everyone. It has certainly evolved for me over the years. I think a lot of girls feel pretty when their hair is doing the right thing. I know, I know. There are some days when you simply CANNOT get your hair to do what you want to do, that's why God invented cute hats. But having a good hair day can definitely help oneself feel pretty. Also, don't wear dumpy outfits very often. I know that everyone needs a scrub day, but pulling yourself together can make you feel more confident- and feeling confident is a huge part of being sexy.Do something you love -
When you pour yourself into something you are passionate about, your whole life is enhanced. Whether you are lucky enough to get to do what you love as a career, or you give yourself time on the side to do something, make sure you are devoting yourself to a passion. Write and play music, paint, draw, write poetry, run, blog, take photos, do whatever it is that feeds your soul. If you have a job that takes the life out of you and you don't give yourself time to bask in your passions, it will show on your face and your demeanor. A passionate person is a sexy person and that passion will infiltrate every area of your life.
Wear sexy underwear -
This is fun because it's your little secret. Don't let yourself fall into a lull of wearing granny panties. Wearing something really fun and sexy that no one can see (that's an important part- thongs hanging out= not sexy), helps you feel great without looking trampy. Make sure you set aside some of your budget to head down to a lingerie shop and buy some cute bras and panties. I remember when I was a little girl helping my mom fold laundry I asked her why she had pretty underwear if no one saw it. She told me that it was so she felt pretty. She'll probably be embarrassed that I blogged that, but I remember it very distinctly. Basic underwear is important, but let yourself indulge in a little secret sexiness.
Laugh at yourself -
Don't be so easily embarrassed- it will paralyze you. Let yourself laugh at your own mistakes, and you will be less afraid to make them. The more you allow yourself to take risks the more carefree you will feel. Laughing makes you smile, and remember the first thing I said about smiling! Mistakes are inevitable, embarrassing situations are inevitable (no matter how hard you try to avoid them), so stop trying so hard to avoid the mistakes and dive into life, being prepared to laugh at yourself when you screw up. Screw up, laugh at yourself, and move on with life. The confidence you feel from not being paralyzed by fear is remarkably sexy.