I don't want you to be a gentleman.
I listen to pop music in the car, I'm not sure why because the lyrics always drive me bonkers, but I guess it's fun to sing along to and upbeat background music. I always end up thinking way too much about the messages sent in song lyrics and lately the one song that's been driving me bonkers is Shawn Mendes' current song:
I won't lie to you
I know he's just not right for you
And you can tell me if I'm off
But I see it on your face
When you say that he's the one that you want
And you're spending all your time
In this wrong situation
And anytime you want it to stop
I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can
First off, as a woman, KTHXBYE for your opinion on my relationship and your assertion that you'd be better for me. Just what I need, another man telling me how I should live my life. The song should be re-titled, "I Know I Can Mansplain You Better."
Cynicism aside the word "gentleman" stands out to me. And it's a word that I kind of want to be done with. It's veiled sexism at its finest. Because I don't want men to be gentlemen to me, I want them to be decent humans who treat other humans who happen to be women like they treat male humans. They respect women the way they respect men. They honor women the way the honor men. They pay women the amount they pay men. They fight for women to have the same privileges and rights as men because they are fellow humans who deserve that.
You can treat her better? Why don't you fight for her rights? Speak up when your shitty friends are slut shaming girls. Be an advocate for equal pay. Stop saying things like, "she's just being hormonal," and saying that things done weakly/poorly are done, "like a girl." I don't want your condescending gentleman shtick. I don't want you to bring me flowers and open a door for me. Get in the trenches and be a real advocate for women. Maybe she is dating a lame-o, but being a gentleman isn't what she needs. She needs a feminist.