Let's spice things up.

We are 8k into this book and I finally finished up the first chapter a couple days ago. As I was working on chapter two I realized… things might be getting a little spicy right off the bat and y’all are my people because you concur that launching right into a lil spice is a-ok.

I’m pretty sure the last time I wrote a scene like this I was a never-been-kissed teenager who had raging hormones and my only outlet was to write romance scenes that exposed my deepest desires (which, lets be real, as a repressed Christian teen was basically just making out).

I’d also like to give an acknowledgement to the v spicy dream I had the other night as inspiration for this scene. Shouts out to never having a slut phase and having to live it out through my dreams and written characters.

And now for a different kind of DIY

I’m… writing a novel? Okay, I should probably be more assertive about that: I’m writing a novel. Is this out of left field? I suppose it might seem like it. In some ways it feels a little out of left field to me, not because writing a book has never occurred to me, but rather the timing. If you’re following me on social media (which you likely are, otherwise I’m not sure how you ended up here) you know that my main creative outlet, at least for the past 7 years, has been DIY home renovation. This is what I do for work, what I create content around, and I truly love it. I love transforming spaces, especially on a budget or in ways that repurpose existing materials, and making bold, offbeat space designs is my jam.

This past February I hit burnout hard. Undertaking the expansion of the DIY Awards to include an in-person, fully-produced live-streamed event… well, it was too much for one person to manage. I knew I should’ve assembled a team to help me but for some extremely frustrating reason I have a near impossible time doing that. Even bringing on Virtual Assistants has felt difficult. Partly because I don’t know what they could do (besides somehow help the fact that I’m always stressed out. But how. I don’t know.), partly I’m afraid I’m wasting money on paying someone to do nothing because I have no work to assign them. But that’s all neither here nor there. I pushed myself to the edge putting on that event and when all the dust settled at the beginning of February, all I wanted to do was be a human lump and never leave the couch ever again.

After the initial crash, I picked myself up and got back to work, at about a 30% capacity, taking on a few brand campaigns to cover my business costs, but as summer approached and I realized that school would be out and I’d be momming full time, it felt like I should push pause on DIY content creation for real. I figured it would also give me a chance to take a breath, reassess my goals and plans, and take a beat to let myself be creative in ways that didn’t necessarily have to serve my business.

Being a creative “solopreneur” if you will (I don’t love that term but it’s somewhat accurate), it can feel like every creative thing you do has to somehow serve your main business or it’s not worth pursuing. Random creative ideas get shoved to the back burner to wait until you have free time to pursue them (spoiler alert: you never have free time). So I decided: I’d take the summer off from professional content creation, let myself enjoy time with my kiddo, and allow myself to ride the current of whatever creative whim befell me.

I also have been rekindling the pleasures and interests from my childhood, one of which was reading Anne McCaffrey’s dragonriders series. As a kid I had so loved the world she created, and the way it was a blend of sci-fi and fantasy genres. I’d read the Chronicles of Narnia series and enjoyed that, but something about the infusion of sci-fi felt more exciting and expansive. In early 2021 my friends all started reading Sarah J. Maas’ ACOTAR series and I jumped right in with them, eventually devouring her Throne of Glass and Crescent City books as well, reigniting my love of fiction. Prior to that my Audible library was just full of self-help and entreprenurial books, not a shred of anything that could be construed as a purely pleasurable read.

It felt so delicious to read something purely pleasurable. The magic, the world, the romance. Listening on Audible was a game changer. I could be listening to books while I was doing laundry or working on DIY projects, or doing dishes, or driving in the car. One of the barriers to me being able to read was that sitting down with a physical book for hours is a time luxury I just don’t have most of the time.

So anyway, what does this all have to do with writing a book? All of that introspection about what I used to love as a kid, all that reading for pleasure, and especially revisiting Anne McCaffrey’s books re-sparked the desire to write a novel. I remember being in second grade and hearing about a girl who was in fifth or sixth grade who wrote and published a book. I was so envious— I wanted to do that. Of course I never did. I wrote short stories and poems over the years, and then after college all my writing energy went into blogging and i never got back to creative writing (besides that angsty poem note in my notes app filled with poems jotted well after midnight).

Then, a couple months ago after I’d started rereading Anne McCaffrey’s oeuvre, a novel concept beamed into my mind from the ether. And I said… “well, okay. Let’s do this”

I think over the years I’d felt like there are people who write novels and get published and then there’s people who can’t. And for some reason I fell into the latter camp. But this past April my mom self published her memoir. And then found an old blogging friend who published a novel. And I realized that the only thing that kept me from being an author was not writing. It was literally that simple. I didn’t have to write a book that made it to the New York Times list. I didn’t have to write a book that got picked up by a publishing company. I could just write it and then it would exist.

So that’s where we’re at now. The writing of the thing. And I figured maybe if I bring you along for the ride, it’ll help peer pressure me into finishing and function as a sort of co-working body doubling to combat the ADHD that will most certainly kick in about 6 weeks to 6 months into this endeavor. So, you know, no pressure. Me finishing this relies on you being here. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, having you here does act as a sort of accountability. But also, it’s just fun to share this process with others, especially as a newb first-time author.

Will I get published by a traditional publishing house? I don’t know. Will I get an agent? I don’t know. Will I self publish? I don’t know. This is a journey with no known destination with the exception that I write the whole story down and release it into the world in some way.

So, welcome to the adventure! You’re like my Samwise, accompanying me (Frodo), as I carry this book (the Ring of Power) to completion (Mt. Doom).

Summer Reads Roundup

Divine Rivals

REBECCA ROSS

This one I technically read the last couple days of July, but since I haven’t actually finished August yet, we’ll call it even. I absolutely loved this book. It felt like Shadow and Bone meets You’ve Got Mail. Very sweet romance, interesting world with some magical elements, and it has a cliffhanger that leaves you looking forward to book two. I’ve already preordered book two, which I believe comes out Dec 26th. Looking forward to my Christmas break read already!

The Hunger Games + The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes

SUZANNE COLLINS

I bought the original three Hunger Games Novels earlier this summer because I saw them at the thrift store and picked them up, realizing I’d never read them. They came out when I was in college, and I wasn’t really in the YA novel reading mindset at the time, so they weren’t on my radar. I’ve seen the movies, but it’s been a while. I was sitting in the theater watching Barbie previews when I saw the preview for the new Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and it reminded me that I hadn’t read The Hunger Games trilogy yet. So I went home and did just that.

I think I read all three books in 3 or 4 days. They were great, but they also had a melancholy tone throughout in a way that kind of left me haunted. Part of me wishes Collins would’ve just given us a happy ending, but I think that what she did was honor the reality of the characters, in both the ending and throughout the book. Katniss isn’t a goddess, and there’s a lot of doing what has to be done. I don’t know if it’s because of Collins’ background writing for shows or because I’d seen some of the movies, but the books read very movie-like, in a way, if that makes any sense.

I read The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes after I finished the original trilogy. This one is an interesting one because we follow the story of the main villain from the trilogy. So the main character is someone you are wanting to root for, but ultimately you know how awful they are. So it’s a weird cognitive dissonance as a reader. Collins does it really well, but again, I feel like the ending was just a little bitter, and it left some questions hanging in the air, which added to the unsettling feeling. This sounds like a negative review, and it’s not. It has very much the tone of the original trilogy, so if you liked those, you will most likely like this prequel as well!

Seven Days in June

TIA WILLIAMS

I don’t read a ton of fiction set in modern times, with the exception of crime, so this was a very different book from my usual fiction reads. The only reason I picked it up is because I saw it in our Little Free Library and I had just finished another book so I was on the prowl for a new book. I liked the cover and the blurb, plus it’s a NYT Bestseller so I figured why not. I loved it. I had a really lovely pacing, the ending felt super satisfying and the characters were really likable and easy to root for, which felt really nice because I had just finished The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, and the main character in that is technically a villain and the ending felt sad and unsettling, so this was a nice counter point to that. I think I read it in two or three days. Blew through it! It had some sizzling spice, interesting characters, and just felt like an upbeat, enjoyable read.

Maidens of the Cave

LLOYD DEVEREAUX RICHARDS

Richards’ first book, Stone Maidens, was one that went viral on TikTok early this year after his daughter made a video talking about how he wrote a book and it hadn’t sold much in the 10 years since it was published. Cut to- TikTok doing its thing and turning it into an overnight bestseller. I didn’t realize he was coming out with another book (my guess: his publisher saw how crazy viral his book went and hopped on that to get him to quickly put out a second novel), but I saw it pop up in my Audible suggested reads and I preordered it.

This book follows the same forensic anthropologist as the first book. The vibe of both books is like if Bones and a BBC Detective show had a baby. And it was a book. I really enjoyed both of his books. Great pacing, good mystery, and we love a forensics moment over here.

Bird by Bird

ANNE LAMOTT

I’m going to a writing retreat in September where Anne Lamott is going to be a speaker, so I figured I should read some Anne Lamott before I go. This is a book about writing, or rather being a writer. I believe it came out in the mid 90’s, and you can definitely feel that in some of the stories she tells (some fatphobia and things that I forgot people used to have super deeply internalized that it showed up in their writing). I enjoyed it though. I haven’t really read any books about writing or being a writer, so it was my first foray into that realm. Mostly I feel encouraged to push through my “shitty first draft.”

After That Night

KARIN SLAUGHTER

I think I was afraid that I’d over inflated how good Karin Slaughter’s books are, because the last book in this series came out in 2020 (I think?). So it’s been 3 years since I read anything from her. I loved both the Grant County series (though I skipped the last one in that series because I disliked the character it focused on and she killed off one of my favorite characters, so I just said NOPE! and moved on lol), and the Will Trent series (which this book is a part of). Her pacing is just spot on. It moves quickly, but not too quickly. You get answers to questions at a rate that keeps you wanting more, but feeling satisfied along the way. And I was blown away by the attention to detail she included in this one. I knew she did her research because I’ve read so many of her other books, but she included a lot of medical details in this book that were things I’m pretty intimately familiar with because of my brother’s cardiac history, and girl did her research. And not just down to the procedure descriptions, but the descriptions of what it feels like to be a pediatric cardiologist. Like, remember my Drywall DNF woes? This is exactly the opposite of that.

I will say that this book deals heavily (very heavily) in rape and assault, so if those things are triggering, you might not want to read this (though she’s had quite a bit of content on that topic in her past books. None quite as pervasively and vividly as this one, if I remember the past books correctly, which I may not because it’s been years since I started her books). I always appreciate the perspective she brings in her books to sexual assault/sexism, though, and I don’t feel like she puts in gratuitous depictions of assault just for shock factor. That being said, I am not a survivor of SA, so I can’t really speak to how it would make me feel to read if I was.

It's that time again

School is back in session! Today was Jack’s first day of first grade. He asked me about 1000 times how many days till school started this summer, and the long awaited day finally arrived with all the fanfare of a crisp PNW September morning. Last year I walked him to his classroom door every morning and gave him a certain number of hugs each day, agreed upon during our walk to school (“mom, I want 5 big hugs today” — big hugs are ones where I lift him off the ground). This year he wanted to walk in the doors all by himself, but we convinced him to let us tag along to get a glimpse of his new classroom.

Last year was hard. Despite having been to three years of preschool, and being in classes that were around the same length of a full day of public school, he had a really rough transition and I may or may not have cried in the Principal’s office on multiple occasions, including before the school year even started (thanks, Kindergarten Jump Start). He’s what Dr. Becky calls a DFK— a deeply feeling kid. If you aren’t familiar with Dr. Becky her work has been super helpful for us with learning how to better support Jack as parents. Loved her book and she has a great podcast too. I digress. Jack has really strong opinions, an intense sense of justice, and a really hard time being wrong. So all those things butted up against the reality of being in a school setting with lots of new kids, lots of daily transitions, and lots of conflicts with other kids. But his school was so supportive along the way, in a way I didn’t know that was possible at public school (and probably isn’t possible in a lot of school districts in this country).

Growing up in a private school setting from 3rd grade on, I got a sense of public-school-bad, private-school-good. The messaging was sort of that public school had less academic rigor, less support because so many kids attended them, and enrolled more “troubled kids,” whatever that meant. I haven’t been tempted to send Jack to private school, mostly because I have no interest in sending him to a religious school like I was, and also because we just straight up can’t afford it. But I was nervous last year sending him to public school because I still had those outdated messages swirling around in the back of my head.

Turns out, they were all wrong. I’ve been super impressed with the Tacoma Public School system. Jack’s elementary school was so willing to work with Jack to figure out how to support him. The principal was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, the staff all knew Jack by name and they were so nice to him all the time.

So this year, I’m still worried that he might have issues and have moments where dysregulation causes behavior that lands him in the principal’s office, but it’s also nice knowing that this school is so supportive of him and actively want to give him the resources he needs to succeed. And it goes without saying that I’m thrilled to have him in a school district that supports LGBTQ+ students, and puts a huge emphasis on social emotional learning. I know we’re in a little blue oasis up here in the NW in some ways, but this is one way that feels really important right now, especially considering what’s happening in school districts around the nation.

Anyway, cheers to the new school year. Cheers to watching your kid grow up right before your eyes, and CHEERS to having 6 whole hours of time during the day where I don’t have to be a hands-on parent and can do stuff that I like, woo!

Making Space

I’m not a stop and smell the roses type of person. By the time I’m mid-way through one thing, my brain is already scheming up the next thing I want to do or make. Living in a fixer-upper there certainly isn’t a dearth of projects in the pipeline, but something I’m doing this summer is spending time enjoying the fruits of my labor. In the DIY content creation world we’re always pumping out projects and room transformations and tutorials and tips, but slowing down and taking the time to slow down and enjoy the projects I’ve poured so many hours of my life into? Okay now that’s a challenge, lol.

Here in the Pacific Northwest it feels like we spend 9 months of the year waiting and pining for the 3 months that make living here tolerable. Maybe that’s a little overdramatic, but the three months of summer here are truly glorious and the winters can be quite difficult. In some ways I feel pressured to do projects during the summer because it’s somewhat miserable doing projects in the winter when it’s rainy outside and freezing and I can’t do anything outside. But on the other hand I want to just soak up every moment of the sun and warmth, like a lizard laying on a hot rock in the desert.

Summers definitely feel different as a parent to a kid in school as well. Jack’s first year of real elementary school just finished, so the structure of my days is completely thrown out the window. Having six hours a day to do work, get household duties completed, and build things? Gone for three months. And instead of resisting and pushing against the tide of summer and all these schedule and lifestyle shifts, I’m choosing to lean into them.

The privilege of taking the summer “off” work (heavy quotations because parenting is a full time job), is certainly not lost on me, especially in the cultural climate we’re currently surviving within. Being able to spend the day running to Home Depot to grab a sprinkler so my kiddo can frolic in the cool water while I sip a Starbs frozen bev feels unbelievably luxurious, and my summer spiritual practice is dropping into that gratitude.

The freedom from my usual grind is also allowing me to push the boundaries of my creativity in ways that are feeling exciting and unexpected. A couple years ago I was thrust back into the joy of reading fiction thanks to Sarah J. Maas’ ACOTAR series (and subsequently all her other books as well), and then this summer I’ve been revisiting some of my favorite Sci-Fi novels that I devoured as a kid. A little door inside me that had been closed and forgotten about started to creep open and, well, I’m now in the throes of plotting out an outline for a Sci Fi novel? I don’t know, guys, but I’m letting it happen and it’s been pretty fun. I also accidentally planted about 100 pumpkin plants, so I’m about to have my very own pumpkin farm. I guess this summer’s lesson is in creating space for unexpected joys to come in and take root.