TxSC // tips for introverts at the conference

Okay people, I'm steeling myself for all the TxSC festivities.  Almost all the blogger events I've been to in the past year and a half have been very hard on me, and I'm determined to make next weekend awesome.  I'm an introvert, and so that means being very intentional about making it awesome.

If any of you are introverts, I'm sure you've experienced the exhaustion that accompanies events like blogger meet-ups, conferences, and parties.  Last year at TxSC I literally hid in the back kitchen of the event space so I could recharge, and even that was a relatively unsuccessful last-minute attempt.  I'm not good at small talk, I'm not super bubbly and I'm kind of a wallflower, so parties where mingling and small talk is the main event? Not my favorite.  As a sidenote to extroverts (and introverts) if you see me hiding in the back or lingering on the periphery, not talking to anyone and keeping to myself, it's because I'm having sensory overload, not because I don't like anyone.  I probably like most of you, but the prospect of meeting you all seems rather daunting.

So here are a few tips that I'm going to keep in mind for myself during TxSC, and if you are an introvert who finds events like TxSC to be overwhelming, maybe they'll be helpful for you too!

1. Schedule enough down-time.

This is a big deal.  Introverts get drained by human interaction, unlike extroverts who get pumped up by it, so in order to recharge your fuel cells, you need to take time away from it all to be alone.  Maybe skip one of the workshop sections to go off by yourself.  You might be sad to miss out on something, but you'll be more sad when you're about to lose it and run back to your hotel room when something super fun is happening because you didn't recharge enough earlier.

2.  Have blog posts already scheduled during TxSC.

I'm very bad at blogging ahead of time.  Most of my posts are written the night before, or even that day, so this is something I'm really going to try and make sure I do!  This takes the pressure off of feeling like you need to blog during TxSC, which can be kind of impossible what with all the events, people meeting, and parties.  Having your blog all taken care of before you start your travel to TxSC will take a major load off your back.

3.  Booze it up.

Okay, this might just be me, but I can do extroversion very well with a couple drinks in me.  I become more friendly, open, and chatty, which is exactly the version of myself that I need for the party-type events.  They say that liquor is liquid courage, but I don't feel that way.  I've got plenty of courage, I need liquid extroversion sometimes.  I'm legitimately thinking of carrying a flask in my purse for the Prom party and taking a few sips in the bathroom now and then, just to keep myself in that extroverted place.  If I'm not feeling extroverted enough at parties, I just start to feel bad about myself and that makes me retreat more, and then I have zero fun.  A little booze can help me get into that party spirit (though definitely in moderation. Being the crazy drunk at the party is lame, and waking up hungover is also lame).

4. Have a plan.

Know when you need to be places and where they are.  Whenever I travel, I like to print google maps of all the places I need to go with their addresses, and have an itinerary with all the times.  Now that smartphones exist this isn't as necessary, but you can still have an itinerary!  There are so many things to do and places to go at TxSC that it can be overwhelming.  Going in with a plan will reduce stress significantly.

5. Have a set of questions to ask people when you meet them.

I am horrible, absolutely horrible, at making conversation because I don't ask questions.  I like answering questions, but I'm really bad at volleying back with my own.  I love conversing with extroverts because they just talk talk talk and I just listen and respond when necessary.  I'd like to work at being better at volleying back during conversation (mostly small talk, I'm okay when it comes to deeper conversations).  There are obvious questions like "what's your blog?" (cue business card exchange), and "where are you from?" but I'd like to have some other questions on hand that people haven't had to answer like 1,000 times, because that gets exhausting.

6. Suck it up and network

I got so crippled by my introversion last year that I didn't meet anybody from any other brands, and not a lot of bloggers either.  Besides getting to meet cool bloggers, events like TxSC are also awesome for meeting brands in person, putting a face with your blog for them.  I might make a goal for myself of meeting 3 people from brands I'd like to work with, rather than feeling overwhelmed about having to meet all of them.  I've only got so much networking juice in my system, and it's not very much, so I need to deploy it wisely.  I'm not going to push myself on this one though.  If I'm already feeling tapped out by the human interaction of other party-goers and bloggers, then I might scrap this one altogether so I can enjoy myself and have a good time with people.

7. Don't be afraid to approach groups of bloggers

One thing that is really hard with blogger meet-ups is that a lot of people go to meet new people, but, at least for me, while that's what you want to do, you end up gravitating towards people you know already, because that's your comfort zone.  It's like a fly to a lamp, when I see people I know.  I instantly move that direction because I see people I know and can talk to without the stress of small talk and meeting someone entirely new.  If you're a newer blogger, don't think that the bigger bloggers are doing this out of a conscious effort to avoid you, or to keep you out of their "clique."  It's likely that they've met before at other events, or even just fostered a good friendship online, and are happy to see each other again.  They aren't trying to form a clique where only "big" bloggers are allowed.  They aren't going to go all Regina George on you and tell you, "YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!'  If they seem quiet and reserved, just know that meeting new people is hard, no matter how big your blog or small your blog is.

Are you an introvert?  What tips would you give to another introvert for dealing with a big weekend full of TONS of extroverted activities?

roasted beet hummus

One of the challenges with getting a CSA is figuring out what to do with things you normally wouldn't pick up on a regular grocery run.  In our last CSA pickup we got some beets and I've never actually cooked a beet in my life.  I've eaten beets before, on the occasion, but never has a beet found it's way into my personal kitchen.  I was excited though, because on the rare occasions when I have had beets, I've enjoyed them.  I had the makings for hummus laying around and decided to make hummus, but I usually like to figure out a new variation on hummus each time I make it just because it's fun.  I peeked in my fridge and saw the beets and thought that beet hummus sounded like something that might be a thing.  After some googling I saw that people have indeed made beet hummus, and it looked like a really fun hummus variation due to the nearly neon shade of fuchsia that results.  This hummus variation takes a bit longer to prepare, because you'll want to roast the beet beforehand which takes about 45 minutes to an hour, and then you need to cool it down after that.  But that color is just so incredible.  The beet doesn't seem to imbue a hugely strong taste to the hummus, but it's definitely a delicious hummus.  I enjoyed it with some sweet potato tortilla chips as an appetizer and I'd like to add it to a wrap too!
Ingredients
1 small-medium roasted beet
1 15 oz. can garbanzo beans (chickpeas)
zest of one lemon
juice of half a lemon
2 large cloves garlic, minced
2 heaping Tbsp Tahini
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
salt and black pepper to taste

Instructions
1. Prepare the beet by wrapping it in foil with a bit of canola or olive oil and roasting in a 350º oven for appx 1 hour, or until a fork easily slides into the beet.  Once cooked, cool it completely in the fridge.  You don't have to peel the garbanzo beans but if you want to (it makes for a smoother consistency), do so while the beet is cooking and cooling so you're ready to go when the beet is!

2. Once the beet is cooled, peel and quarter it and place it in your food processor, blending until it's in small bits.

3. Add everything else, except for olive oil, to the food processor and blend until you reach a smooth consistency. Add the olive oil gradually as you mix.

4. Taste and adjust the seasonings as you like!  If it's not smooth enough, try adding more lemon juice or olive oil.  The hummus will keep in the fridge for about a week.  Enjoy!

err on the side of grace

I've been thinking about grace lately.  I want to exude grace, forgiveness, and understanding.  This doesn't mean I want to be gullible, stupid, and easy to dupe, but I would much rather operate under grace, forgiveness, and understanding than anger, grudges, and judgement.  Not just for the sake of other people, but for my own psyche and state of being.  There is too much anger in the world.  I don't want to put myself near it, it feels toxic.  This is not to say I want to operate in la-la land where only shiny happy things happen and if something is ugly I just plug my ears and start singing Sesame Street.  Perhaps it has more to do with the response to the toxicity of anger.  Responding to anger in the world with grace.  Responding with understanding.  Responding with forgiveness.

It's hard to do.  Sometimes impossible.  But when I think about how I want others to treat me, that's what I want.  I want grace, forgiveness, and understanding.  I'm getting better at putting myself in someone else's shoes.  Maybe that person is tailgating me because they're late for a job interview that they need more than anything I can imagine.  They need a job to feed their children and they've just been beaten down by life right now, and the last thing they need is for me to be an asshole about them doing the best they can to get to their interview.  Maybe my barista had her boyfriend break up with her last night, and it's all she can do to make me a cup of coffee without breaking down.  Maybe the jerk who screamed at me on my bike and nearly drove me off the road had an abusive father and doesn't know how to cope, and so he yells at bikers and anyone else who annoys him.  I don't know.  The straight up fact is that I don't know the facts.  I don't have all the information.  Actually, I have very little information.  And my natural instinct is to fill in those blanks with stuff like, "well that person is a jerk."  I forget that, I'm not a jerk, but sometimes things happen and I act like one.  Sometimes I give you bad service as a barista because I'm having the worst day, sometimes I tailgate you because I'm in a hurry and not thinking.  And who knows, maybe that person really is a jerk.  Maybe they really are being intentionally mean to you, just to be mean, but you don't know that.  You don't have that information.  I would much rather err on the side of grace.  I would much rather smile at my morose barista, instead of scowling and not tipping.  Maybe she really is mean, but if she is having a bad day, I'd rather be the person not making it worse by being a jerk back to her.

It's not easy.  For some reason it seems like our natural tendency is to assume the worst about other people's character in those situations.  It's a challenge to fight the entropy of assuming the worst.  I don't succeed all the time, but I find that I'm a happier person when I choose grace, forgiveness, and understanding, rather than anger, holding a grudge, and judgement.

 



dress (worn as top) / courtesy of evermicrush :: skirt/courtesy of modcloth ring/courtesy of jewelmint :: bracelet/courtesy of musana jewelry :: bag/courtesy of hearts necklace/courtesy of peerless charm :: shoes (similar)/courtesy of blowfish shoes photos by Dan
And digressing from the above... Coral, chartreuse and turquoise are my jam these days.  Give me all of the things in those colors, please.  I don't know if it's the rapid infusion of Vitamin D that occurs for Vitamin D sun-starved Washingtonians that is causing this love of bright colors, but I like it.  I'm typically more drawn to more muted color schemes, but neon and brights are all I care about this summer.  I'm wondering how I'll feel once the clouds and rain return in a few months (say it ain't so!!).  I've heard whispers of Back To School items being marketed at stores already, which, even though I'm no longer in school, is still the sign of summer coming to an end.  We've really had an incredibly remarkable summer here.  Part of me never wants it to end, but another part of me gets excited about all the holiday that fall beckons.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our wedding anniversary is tucked in there as well.  

LOCAL LOVE // marrow

Something I'm really excited about with my best friend moving to Tacoma is sharing all my favorite places with her.  I think Tacoma is full of amazing restaurants, bars, and other attractions, contrary to the impression the rest of the world seems to have, so it's fun to be able to introduce someone to the city by sharing favorite hang outs and activities.

One of the places I've grown to like in Tacoma is Marrow.  Marrow opened a couple years ago after my favorite coffee shop went under, so I was glad the space ended up becoming something great.  Marrow is slightly on the spendy side (for me), so I don't frequent it too often, but it's one of my favorite places to go on a little date with Dan to grab a whisky ginger and beer on happy hour.


I've always had great service at Marrow.  The staff has always been very attentive and knowledgable about both the food, specials, and drinks.  Their food is relatively exotic featuring items like oxtail, and, appropriately, bone marrow.  They also separate their menu between vegetarian and not vegetarian, so if you lean towards the animal-free cuisine, they make it easy to find options that will work for you.  About half the menu is vegetarian, so it's a great place to go if that's your jam.  Like I said, the food can be a bit exotic, but if you have any questions about what something is, just ask the staff as they seem to have a solid knowledge about the specifics of the menu.  The drink menu is a little less exotic, though still leaning towards the craft cocktail end of the spectrum.  1022 South paved the more creative, from-scratch, exotic cocktail path for Tacoma bars and Marrow has definitely gone more that route than your standard cocktail menu.

I've gotten a few of their specialty cocktails.  I tried the Lillian a couple times because the description was similar to the Lavender cocktail offered by 1022, and while it didn't quite meet the off-the-charts tastiness of the Lavender, it didn't leave me wanting.  On this particular journey to Marrow I tried their Bronson cocktail, which is bourbon, peach habanero bitters, and ginger beer on the rocks.  Being a whisky ginger fangirl I was intrigued to see how the peach habanero bitters interacted with the whisky ginger and quite enjoyed the result.  The peach adds a distinctly Southern attitude to the cocktail and the habanero isn't overwhelming at all, just adding a bit more depth and complexity to the drink.  Dan and I have been adventuring in making our own bitters the past year, so we might try to come up with a peach habanero bitters recipe ourselves!

The vibe in Marrow is very pleasant.  6th Ave can get crazy, and some places just get too overwhelmingly rowdy to go if you want to have a conversation that doesn't involve yelling.  Dan and I usually avoid 6th Ave on Fridays and Saturdays for this reason, but sometimes we forget and end up on 6th searching for somewhere quiet enough to enjoy one another's company.  Marrow usually suffices.  The classy, intimate, and calm atmosphere (and likely the slightly higher pricing) keeps riff raff out, despite being located right next to the hub of the craziness.  A little refuge from the madness.

The food is around $14.00 for their entrees so we usually end up going for appetizers or happy hour.  I was there for happy hour this time and got a grilled cheese slider, mostly because it had the fingerling potatoes with aioli sauce.  They're amazing.  I think they're Dan's favorite.  Perfectly salty, crunchy, and seasoned just right.  If you go with a few friends you can each get an appetizer and share everything, so then you're not spending a ton of money on food, but you still get a variety of things to taste.  

Marrow is definitely somewhere I recommend to people from out of town.  It has nice atmosphere, great food, and it's not terribly expensive.  They've also started doing Sunday brunch, which we've been to one time, and that was really fun.  Lots of bloody mary options and a good variety of different breakfast choices, from the sweet to the savory.  If you're in Tacoma, or are visiting the area, I recommend checking out Marrow if you're in the mood for some fun cocktails and an exotic culinary experience!

five years

Five years ago today, July 19th, 2008, I said to myself, "hey, starting a blog sounds cool!" And so I did. And apparently I never looked back because here we are, five years later.  It's weird to think that it's been half a decade of sitting behind this computer screen, blabbing on about various life happenings and sharing pictures of outfits, life and more.  Five years of my life, documented here on the interwebs.  So bizarre.  And so cool.  It's fun to think back to five years ago when I sat with my laptop and decided to start delightfully-tacky.blogspot.com.  To who I was and where I was in life.  I was just a college student who was inspired by the creative community and thought, "what the heck!" Five years later I've met hundreds of new people, gone to NYFW twice, been to tons of blogger meet ups and conferences, spoken at conferences, traveled in a Winnebago from Alaska to Florida and back to Washington, lived in Anchorage, Spokane, and Tacoma, got married, bought a house, fallen in love with photography, got to create blog designs for amazing bloggers, and been inspired by thousands of beautiful images and people around the world through the internet.  It's mind boggling, really.  It's mind boggling that, over the years, tens of thousands of people have stumbled across this little corner of the internet that I've carved out.

I'm still learning new things every day.  Every day is an opportunity for growth.  One thing I love (well, and hate) about blogging is that it's never done.  You've never finished.  You never get to sit back and stop moving forward.  This means that you're always growing and pushing yourself to get better.  Whether that means honing your writing, coming up with new and better features and content, learning new things about photography (I'm watching a food photography class on CreativeLIVE as I'm writing this!), branching out to write a book or e-course, partnering with brands and other creative people, collaborating with other bloggers on fun projects... there's always a way to grow and learn more.


One thing I never expected when I started blogging, was the connections with other people that I would make.  The first post I ever wrote here on Delightfully Tacky was titled, "In which I commence a monologue."  But blogging has been so much more than a monologue.  So much more.  Sharing pieces of my life here, struggles I've been through, joys I've experienced has created connections with people that I never expected.  It hasn't been a monologue.  Far from it.  The emails and comments from people sharing their hearts with me have been so special and precious to me.  It's such a privilege to hear the life stories, heartaches, and redemption that some of you have shared with me.  Seriously.  The vulnerability in some of the comments and emails I've received from you guys have been such a precious thing that I can never take for granted.  So thank you for allowing me into your lives in that way.  
I don't know where the next five years will find me or this blog.  Undoubtedly there will be lots of changes in my life.  I suspect by the time five years have passed we may not live in Tacoma anymore, we may have created another human, we may have experienced loss in one or more forms, who knows.  This blog will morph and change through my life, as it always have.  I'm excited to see where life goes, and how the blog goes along with it.  I hope to find amazing readers wherever my life and blog content end up, because so far that has been the most amazing thing about this journey.  You guys.

dress/courtesy of ruche