unexpected pleasures

I'm in St. Louis!  Remember how I was all, "I'm not going to blog!  I scheduled some stuff!" Well, I only half scheduled some stuff and since it was easier to do this outfit post than finish the post I had planned, here's an outfit from my first evening in the STL!
So far I'm really loving St. Louis Fashion week.  I'm rooming with Jackie from Living After Midnite, so we took some outfit photos before we headed next door to Basso for dinner with the blogger posse who've descended upon STLFW.  After dinner we had the option to go out for happy hour, or go watch the Project Design final fashion show, so Jackie and I decided to go to the show.  We got front row seats and had a blast watching all the new designers debuting their creative and beautiful collections.  I haven't been to a runway show since 2010, so it was fun to see one again!  Today we're going to be attending the Industry Night presentation which includes another fashion show, with designers like Eva Franco, Samantha Pleet, and more. 

 

top/courtesy of spotted moth :: skirt/courtesy of modcloth :: belt/hand me down shoes/courtesy of lulu's :: necklace/courtesy of adorn by sarah lewis bracelets/courtesy of jewelmint and musana :: flower crown/courtesy of STLFW photos taken by Jackie
When I arrived at the hotel yesterday afternoon there was this pretty flower crown sitting on my bed, so I had to wear it.  Me?  Refuse a flower crown?  Nope.  I thought it went pretty well with my outfit anyway.  I wore almost this exact same outfit a few months ago for a party in Tacoma, but never got any photos of it, so I decided to give it a rerun for STLFW.  Pro tip: if you're going to stuff your face, consider the effect on a midriff baring outfit.  Halfway through our dinner at Basso and I was feeling a bit... turgid.  But hey, whatever.  Turgid is as turgid does, and I continued eating any way.  There was pizza, okay?  I can't say no to pizza.
Well, I'm off to go do some yoga in the park with lovely blogger ladies this morning!  Lets hope it doesn't rain!

pulled from the archives

Since it's been pouring rain, and I've been too lazy to try finagling a way to take outfit photos, I went back in my photo archives a few weeks and found these outfit photos I never posted.  This outfit makes me feel pretty bad ass.  Even though I think it might be a bit of a lumberjack-hooker outfit?  Either way, I don't care.  I'm excited that it's tights-with-shorts weather again.  Although the current weather has mostly just been wear-a-tarp weather.  I'm currently making my way eastward to St. Louis for St. Louis Fashion Week, and the forecast is calling for thunderstorms, so I might not be escaping the rain after all.  At least the temperatures are still up in the 70's and 80's!  My last warm weather before the long, grey, wet season here in western Washington.  

In a totally and completely unrelated note, I went to my first pole dancing class last night and it was so. much. fun.  My best friend and I decided to get an intro to pole dancing class series when it was on Livingsocial a while ago, and like terrible Livingsocial voucher people we waited to the last minute to snag our deal before it expires.  There was only one spot in yesterday's class so I started my intro class series without her, but hopefully she'll start up next week!  I had really wanted to do a pole dancing party for my bachelorette party, but I don't think I was aware of the pole dancing studio here in Tacoma.  Anyway, it's super fun.  If you've been thinking about doing it, I definitely recommend it.  It's a great work out, and learning how to spin around and climb and hang on to the pole is so interesting!  There was such a variety of women in my class too!  All body types, ethnicities, ages.  I think a lot of people think that it's just for strippers or women trying to learn sexy moves for someone else, but at least at the studio I go to, it's so focused on the athletic aspect, which is nice.  I'm all for more fun ways to workout.  Treadmills and gyms are not really my cup of tea. 

 

top/thrifted :: jacket/modcloth :: tights(similar)/h&m :: shorts/courtesy of modcloth shoes/courtesy of blowfish :: bag/courtesy of hearts

I don't think I'll be posting any STLFW stuff on the blog this week.  I've got a few posts ready to go, but if you want to follow along with happenings in St. Louis, I'll be instagramming and tweeting.  There are going to be a bunch of bloggers at STLFW so you can also check out the #STLFW hashtag, and see some of the bloggers attending here.  I'm excited to meet new people, but I'm also really excited to see Tieka, Julie, Erin, and Keiko again!  I just saw Tieka and Julie at TxSC in August, but I haven't seen Keiko since NYFW in 2010, and I last saw Erin when I drove into San Fran in the Winne in 2010 as well!  Erin has a little one on the way, so it'll be exciting to see her with a little bun in the oven! 

here.

Here, look at some cute pictures of Dusty.  And then go die a thousand deaths because she is the cutest thing to ever walk the Earth.  I can't even.  Thank God for cute corgis because I haven't done outfit photos in probably a week.  Since we've had flooding and even a tornado touch down here in the Tacoma area, I don't feel too bad about staying inside.  Last night Dan finally pulled the trigger on buying us some Magic the Gathering cards, and he had the day off so we hung out all day, went climbing, made food, drank wine, and learned how to play.  So far I'm really liking it!  I've never played a card game like that.  I play a mean game of solitaire, but that's pretty much it.  Dan's been trying to convince me that we should start doing D&D, so I think this is his first attempt at converting me.  Honestly I'm not really opposed to the idea, so we'll see if he succeeds!  But for now Magic is a pretty fun alternative to watching Netflix or doing something else that's mostly passive.  I've always liked that games fill time, but they aren't a passive kind of brain-rotting activity like watching TV.  I mean, I love me some brain-rotting TV, but when it comes to hanging out with other people, playing a game is much more interactive than just sitting next to one another watching the same show.   

zucchini bread

Zucchini is one of those things we've been getting in abundance from our CSA, and beyond sautéing it in butter and garlic, or throwing it in a quiche, I hadn't really done anything with zucchini.  I had seen zucchini bread before at coffee shops and bakeries, but had never had some.  When I found a zucchini bread recipe in on of my Grandma's cookbooks, I decided to give it a go!  It turned out so wonderfully and I've already made a second batch because Dan wanted more (and of course we had more zucchini, so why not).

The rain has come in here in the PNW, so I haven't been doing much in the way of outfit shoots, preferring to spend my time in front of a warm stove or oven instead of trying to brave the cold, wet weather to grab some outfit photos.  We've been hit by some record rainfall this past weekend, and merely going outside to run to the car results in mild drenching.  Thankfully our house doesn't have a basement and is also on the top of a hill so we've avoided a lot of the troubles that many Tacomans have been dealing with.

(recipe via Auke Bay Chapel by the Lake Presbyterian Church cookbook)

Ingredients:

3 eggs beaten until thick and lemon colored

1 cup butter, melted

2 cups sugar

2 cups grated, unpeeled zucchini

3 tsp vanilla

3 tsp cinnamon

3/4 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

3 cups flour

3/4 cup raisins and/or nuts

1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.  Mix together eggs, butter, and sugar.  Fold in zucchini, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg.

2. Sift together flour, soda, baking powder and salt.  Fold into egg mixture and add raisins.

3. Pour into 2 loaf pans, greased or lined with parchment paper.  Bake for 1 hour.  Cool about 15 min and remove from pans.

 

Q + A // getting over a break up

Going through a break up is one of the worst things to cope with.  Dealing with the pain, the broken trust, the expectations that were disappointed, and the loss of someone you love is never easy, regardless of how good or bad the relationship was.  You feel like you've lost the last few years of your life, you feel like you've lost your best friend, you feel like you've lost the future you'd imagined with that person.  It's ... rough.  If you guys have been around the blog for a while (like a long while), you'll remember one of my posts about getting over the hardest break up I've had.  It took me nearly a year after the break up happened to be able to write that post.  In a lot of ways people expect emotional pain to be easier to "get over" than physical pain.  When I went through that break up, I felt like I had been in an emotional car accident that had left me in the hospital in traction.  It was almost debilitatingly painful.  It's important to realize that, like being in a bad car accident where you'll need physical therapy in order to regain your ability to walk, emotional pain similarly needs time to heal and return your heart to where it was before the break up.  

You can't expect to get over it and move on immediately, but in many ways dealing with the pain and heartbreak post-break-up can be a wonderful time of healing as well as a time to get to know yourself and really work on you.  It's unlikely you'll be ready to jump right in to a new relationship, and oftentimes that's an unhealthy move to make, hence the stigma surrounding the "rebound" relationship.  In many ways a rebound is about avoiding dealing with the pain of a breakup, and merely puts a bandaid on a broken bone.  This isn't always the case, but it's a safe rule of thumb to avoid the rebound.

 Give yourself space.  It's hard to jump right back into your social life, especially if people constantly are asking about what happened and making you relive the pain.  If you need space, give yourself that.  Maybe hang out with a couple really good friends who will aid in the healing process, but you're especially vulnerable, so avoid spending time with people who won't respect what you're going through. 

 Focus on healing your heart.  They call it a broken heart for a reason.  In many ways your heart truly is broken.  It doesn't know how to trust anymore and has a very difficult time opening up to people for fear of being hurt again.  It's a slow process and learning to trust again doesn't happen overnight.  

 Cry.  Let yourself cry.  Ugly cry.  Scream.  Mourn.  When I went through my break up I told myself I wasn't going to cry, and I didn't for about 3 or 4 months.  And then something snapped and I cried almost every night for I don't even know how long.  It was almost as if holding it in had made the dam breaking even more powerful.  Let yourself cry.  Dealing with the loss of a relationship is worth tears.  If you have to wear sunglasses to class, do it.  I was the weird kid in the back of my chemistry lectures wearing sunglasses inside at 9 am, but it hid my puffy cry-eyes and in many ways it felt like a form of armor or protection, even though they were just sunglasses.  

 Do yoga.  It forces you to look inward and confront your pain and acknowledge what is happening in your heart.  Plus, it's a great work out and an excuse to get out of the house.



 Let yourself binge on ice cream.  I don't understand it, but ice cream has a healing power.  Rebound with Ben & Jerry, they understand.  

 Exercise.  Moving your body and getting your blood pumping can give you a little boost of endorphins that will help you feel better.  Wallowing in bed can feel great, and pillows are great for soaking up tears, but you'd be surprised how much better your heart will feel when it's had blood vigorously pumping through it.  Also, it'll get rid of all those ice cream calories.

 Surround yourself with people who genuinely love you.  Family, good friends.  Make sure you're around people who you can trust and who will support you through your recovery.

 Journal.  Get all of your thoughts and emotions out on paper.  Word vomit.  It's cathartic and healing.  

 Spend time away from your Ex.  Perhaps this is not geographically possible as you might work together, live in the same town, have the same friends, etc.  Do your best to get as much space as possible.  Don't try to be "just friends" immediately following the break up.  If you guys want to be friends still, you can definitely do that, but doing so immediately following the break up will oftentimes make it much harder to deal with the emotional fall out of the break up.  Give yourself space to heal and have clarity.

 Do something nice for yourself.  Buy yourself flowers, get a massage, 



After my big breakup I moved home to Alaska to be close to family (thankfully this was possible as I'd just graduated college), got jobs as a graphic designer and a fashion merchandiser, went to NYFW twice, dyed my hair red, bought my Brave, quit my job, and drove around the country.  The time after a break up can actually be a great time for you because you can wholly focus on yourself.  You're no longer focusing on compromising for your significant other, you can do what you want to do.  Go on the adventures you've always wanted to go on, chase the dreams you want to chase.  No one is holding you back.  For a long time I wanted to wait until I was with someone who wanted to go on my Winne trip with me, but I decided to stop waiting and just do it on my own and it was the best thing I could've done.  I'd love to do it again now that Dan and I are married, but that time in the Brave, on the road, solo, was one of the most healing times of my life.  

Do you guys have anything that helps you deal with heartache?