what's keeping you from achieving your dreams // share your story

If you've been around the blog for a while, you probably know I enjoy writing introspective posts.  Some of them are more word vomit-y and others are carefully thought out, slowly crafted posts.  One of my favorite parts of those posts are the thoughts and comments you guys share in the comments section.  It always amazes me how much of my personal experience is mirrored by so many other people.  The best part of blogging is sharing life with other people and learning that we're all in this together.  We're not alone.  I wanted to read more about your guys' experiences, and also have a place for people to share their stories so other people can read them too.  I'm starting a journal prompt type link-up series so you guys can share your posts here!  I'm excited to see what posts you guys share.

I thought I'd get down and dirty for this first link up.  I had a realization a couple weeks ago about my personality.  I've always sort of known it about myself, but only recently did I have an "ah hah" moment realizing how it's been keeping me from achieving my dreams.

I crave approval.  It makes me feel valued and important.  It makes me feel worthy and fulfilled.  For most of my life I never really got a sense of the dark side of that part of me.  In a lot of ways that desire for approval has some good effects.  I always did great in school.  I worked hard and felt proud that I'd achieved high grades.  It made me happy to get rewarded for my hard work with accolades.  When I rode horses competitively I worked hard all year so I could win my classes during the summer horse show season.  I loved being able to stand up there with a big champion ribbon or trophy.  It was a visual representation of how hard I'd worked and everything I put into it.  My high school bedroom walls were literally covered with blue ribbons from horse shows.  In a lot of ways I feel like my experience when I was younger was a red herring.  I learned, unintentionally, to value myself based on my accolades.  Once I started getting into the "real world" the equation of hard, good work = recognition, didn't quite follow though the way it had in school and sports.   I remember working for minimum wage at a little coffee shop in college.  I did all I could to learn how to make espresso well, tried my best to keep the shop looking nice, and I still made the same wage as the girl I worked with who made terrible coffee and didn't care, and never cleaned up the shop.  In a way my hard work felt pointless and futile.  There was no opportunity for advancement, no room for the recognition I craved.


I work hard because I want people to see me as a person who works hard.  I would say that I work hard because it makes me feel good to work hard and do stuff, which it does, but at the same time I know that a large part of my pleasure comes from people recognizing that I do stuff.  I work hard because I want to advance in ability and position.  I was told all through school that that's how it works.  Do the work.   Do the work well.  Get an A+.  Repeat = success.  Success = value.

The problems with living this way are obvious, but one strange side affect of this is that I've realized I only do things well enough to impress other people.  Once I get feedback that I've done great work and that the person is impressed with it, I don't go beyond that.  I stall out.  I do well enough to sufficiently impress others and then slack off.  The problem is, I want so much more than to impress some people.  I have dreams that go beyond that.  I want to do stuff that exceeds that minor psychological goal of impressing a few people who give me positive feedback.  I have to make a shift from the carrot in front of me being other people's stamp of approval, to it being an actual goal I want to achieve.  Regardless of whether or not that goal will garner laurels of "wow, much impress, so amaze, very inspire, wow."

Where the rubber meets the road is where talent ends and hard work starts.  Stuff can come naturally but no one became a concert pianist on talent alone.  It's the hours of practice and hard work that get those people to their goals.  That bestselling author, that famous actor, that major blogger, that award winning doctor, they all put countless hours of work into making their dream happen.  It wasn't handed to them, it didn't happen overnight.  One piece of advice I like to remember is, "don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle or end."  It's easy to see the end goal and see people who are already there and get discouraged.  I have to constantly remind myself that I'm at a different place in my journey towards my goals.


Here’s how to participate:

 Write your own post on your own blog, answering the question: What is keeping you from achieving your dreams right now? Write it quick, don’t overthink it, just spill it all out, it can be pictures if you want, whatever. If you’ve already written one, feel free to link that up, too.

 Include a link in your post back to this post, so your readers can find others writing on the same topic. Feel free to use my photo up there in your post!

 Enter the link to your post (the actual post link, not just your blog link) into the link-up tool thing there below.

 Tell a few people about your post,  either through social media or talk about it with a friend over coffee.  Click around and visit a few of the other posts linked up, leave comments for each other, and feel comforted that kindred spirits aren’t as rare as we think!  We're all in this together.  There is strength in numbers!

An InLinkz Link-up

flowers in her hair

Dan recently got a new job, and he gets up at 5am to get ready for work, which means I have a lot of night time to myself.  I'm a dyed in the wool night owl and I really don't think that will ever change.  I may or may not have built my life around not having to get up early ever again.  I'm always impressed by morning people, though.  I'd much rather stay up late to do stuff, so I can sleep in in the morning, but some people, apparently, would rather go to bed and then wake up and do that stuff in the morning.  My problem is, I know if I don't do it at night, it's just not going to happen.  My sleep brain just has different priorities than my regular brain.  My regular brain thinks it's a great idea to wake up early and go get coffee and get a bunch of work done before 9.  My regular brain thinks it'd be awesome to wake up early and go for a run.  My sleep brain thinks nothing is more important than sleep.  More sleep.  10 more minutes of sleep.  30 more minutes of sleep.  Unfortunately my regular brain is out of commission when these doing-things-in-the-morning decisions are to be made and sleep brain rules, which means: sleep.  

 

dress / courtesy of chicwish :: shoes / courtesy of modcloth :: bracelets + ring / thrifted necklaces/ courtesy of adorn by sarah lewis :: flower crown / handmade
The good news is, Dan now has a regular schedule and gets off around 4pm every day which is great for being able to schedule our lives more and hang out in the evenings!  Mostly it's just nice that he has a regular schedule now.  His last job was working nights and afternoons with different shifts on different days, so it was hard for him to find a rhythm.  He loves having a regular schedule in his life, so this change is awesome for him.  More power to him for being able to wake up at the ass crack of dawn before I'm even close to resurrecting from my nightly death.  
In other news, it's been hot here in the PNW lately and it's only going to get hotter this week, so white breezy dresses is the name of my game.  Less fabric=better, although I'm pretty sure I could walk around naked and I'd still be sweating balls.  Still, I'm loving it.  For all those months we put up with the clouds and rain, the summers in the PNW are outstanding and totally worth it.  It's going to be in the 90's this week so I'm thinking at least one of those days needs to involve waterfront and a bikini.  At least.

uncommon gifts

Hey guys!  Today I've partnered with Uncommon Goods to share a super fun gift guide.  I have quite a few yogis, foodies, and diy-obsessed gals in my life, so I thought I'd share some of my favorite gifts for those ladies.  Uncommon Goods is a sweet online shop that features tons of unique, fun, and interesting gifts.   Most of their products are created right here in the USA, lots are handmade and/or eco-friendly, and about one-third of their entire collection incorporates recycled and/or upcycled materials, which is awesome!  They also give back by donating a portion of each order to non-profit organizations like American Forests, Women for Women International, City Harvest, and the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).  I'm a pretty big fan of supporting companies that are committed to being environmentally friendly, socially responsible, and giving back.  Not only can you give a gift to someone you love, you're also giving back to organizations that help great causes.   It's pretty fun to browse through more gift ideas here, and if you're like me you're probably secretly window shopping for yourself as well as whoever you're buying a gift for!  Okay, so maybe I'm the yogi, foodie, diy junkie...

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I know some yoginis with the most magical yoga dens full of candles, crystals, and tapestries.  I love the smell of essential oils and sage when I walk into their homes, it feels so warm and welcoming.  Last Christmas I got my favorite yogi friend a bunch of crystals as gifts and they were a hit!  The gilded amethyst paper weight in this collection I might just have to give myself because it's so gorgeous.  I have a secret little tradition of buying a crystal from the Wishing Stone in SeaTac Airport every time I have to fly somewhere, so I've got a growing collection of pretty shiny things on my bathroom windowsill.
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Dan worked as a cook for years, so we have quite a few foodie friends who are discerning eaters and drinkers and love entertaining.  Unique serving dishes, exotic spices, and a special recipe journal are perfect gifts for the epicurean in your life.  The face mug kind of just cracks me up.  

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I've loved making my own body products and beer, so when I saw these little DIY products I thought they'd make perfect gifts for the homemade maven.  I have a friend whose talked about making her own kombucha for months!  I've seen homebrew beer kits before but never kombucha!  

They've got tons more awesome gift ideas here, with everything from jewelry to home decor.

*This post is in partnership with Uncommon Goods. Thanks for supporting those companies which help keep Delightfully Tacky alive and kicking!*

cut it out

Well, it's July and summer decided to show up like whoa.  Yesterday it was 91ºF.  I was not prepared for that kind of heat, especially after just spending the weekend in the mountains wearing jackets and hiking past snow drifts.  I spent most of the day in the lightest, breeziest dress I could find, but later in the evening I went out on a lady date with Kristina and decided a little black dress was manageable by 8 pm.  Here in Washington most houses and businesses don't have AC, so escaping the heat takes some creativity.  I think I drank my body weight in iced beverages today just to keep from passing out. I've been having fun playing with more bodycon style dresses lately.  They're a super easy way to feel instantly sexy and they look fancy without a lot of effort.  I like these ones that are a little longer, more midi to maxi lengths.  They feel more classy and less club-wear, despite being form fitting.
Do you guys have any fun plans for the 4th of July weekend?  I don't have anything scheduled yet, but I'm sure we'll head over to a friend's house for a barbecue or something and enjoy the summer weather we're supposed to have over the weekend.  This past weekend when we were camping we were sitting around the fire along the river and saw the most amazing, random fireworks show I've ever seen!  Across the river there were a few houses on the bluff and on Saturday the 28th (is this some sort of firework-friendly holiday I'm not aware of?), and around 10:30 one of them started lighting off huge fireworks.  Not just sporadically, like, there were so many going off that I was confused how they were even lighting them that fast.  It went on for about 30-40 minutes and they weren't your cheap roadside fireworks either, they were huge, almost professional size fireworks.  It must've been upwards of $10,000 worth of fireworks, so crazy!  Apparently June 28th was a big day for someone or something! 
Dusty wasn't a fan, though.  She's started getting scared of loud popping noises like fireworks, so she probably won't be a fan of the 4th of July.  The other dog at our campsite was also not excited about the onslaught of fireworks across the river, so we were on dog-comforting duty for a while before they calmed down.  It's sad because you really can't tell them that everything really is fine and nothing is scary.  Little Bit used to run up to my parents' room and hide under the bed at the first sign of fireworks and she wouldn't come out until the next day.  Her little heart would beat so hard we swore that one year she'd just drop dead!  Fireworks weren't actually the death of her, but she probably thought she was going to die every 4th of July and New Years.  Thankfully those are about 6 months apart so she had time to recover!

 

dress/courtesy of modcloth :: shoes/thrifted :: purse/courtesy of fossil shades/courtesy of bonlook :: necklace/courtesy of adorn by sarah lewis :: photos by kristi

cold brew coffee

Hey guys!  My friend Mae is here today to give us a lesson in cold brew coffee!  I met Mae through ye olde blogosphere last year and she recently moved to Tacoma, so it's been fun to get to know her IRL.  Her and her husband are all about coffee and I asked if they'd be interested in sharing a recipe for cold brew, since summer is here and hot coffee on a hot day just doesn't sound appealing.  Cold brew, though?  Perfect.

Can I just say how awesome it is to be taking up this little post space on Delightfully Tacky? When I started reading three years ago, I was smitten. More so when I found out that Elizabeth is a PNW dweller like myself. I have loved watching the blog grow and change over the years, and find it crazy that I get to stand on this proverbial mountaintop and say, "Hey!"

Elizabeth once jokingly told a friend that she was responsible for convincing David, my husband, and me to move to Tacoma. It's admittedly mostly the truth. Now here we are sharing a city, which I can confidently say we all love. 

David and I run a coffee review blog called Purista and are a special breed of coffee enthusiasts. We're also in the midst of launching a coffee roasting business which Elizabeth is creating the logo for. Emailing back and forth about design work she asked if we'd be interested in sharing a cold brew recipe, so here we are.

Realizing that we're working with a lot of fancy schmancy equipment that most at home coffee drinkers don't possess, I decided to make this recipe as kitchen friendly as possible. 

This recipe should yield 1 and 1/2 cups of cold brew concentrate, which you can dilute and doctor to your preference. It takes 12-24 hours.

What You'll Need

A One Quart Jar or Container w/Lid

Cheesecloth

Rubber Band

Measuring Cups

Coffee* (1 and 1/3 cup whole bean if you have a grinder, 1 and 3/4 coarsely ground if not)

3 cups cold, filtered or spring water (not distilled!)

Patience!

*A note on coffee: It is advisable to buy whole bean and grind at home immediately before use, but if you don't own a grinder your local shop or roastery will grind it for you to your specification. Tell them you want it coarse for cold brew.

Step One

Measure out your coffee and water. If you have your own grinder and are starting with whole beans measure them whole, 1 and 1/3 cups, then grind. In the event that you are using pre-ground coffee it will take up more space in the cups, so measure out 1 and 3/4 cups.

Step Two

Add your grounds in the jar/container. This can be messy, and most funnels would take forever with their narrow openings. The funnel we have is wider at the bottom and comes with the Aerobie AeroPress, an awesome coffee brewing device that anyone can use and everyone loves. 

 
 

Step Three

Pour in the water, stir it, cap it, and put it in the fridge. 

Step Four 

Take it out of the refrigerator. We do 24 hour brews for fully developed flavors in the concentrate, but if you can't wait 12 hours should suffice. Give it another good stir. Cut a one layer piece of cheesecloth to fit over the opening and secure with the rubber band. 

Step Five

You'll definitely want a funnel for this step. Pour through the cheesecloth. At some point liquid will stop moving through the cloth, but still be in the jar. This is because there is air stuck behind the grounds. Once it stops you can use a spoon, or your fingers (messy!), to gently press at the front of the cheesecloth repeatedly until all of the liquid has made it through. 

Enjoy!

You will end up with approximately 1 and 1/2 cups of concentrate which you can dilute to your taste, sweeten, and/or add milk or cream to. We generally dilute the water with a 1:1 ratio or add unsweetened almond milk in a 2:1 concentrate to milk ratio. 

I hope this recipe keeps your energy levels up and your body temp down this summer! If you're feeling the coffee vibes check us out on IG as both @Purista and @TerminusCoffee. Peace! - Mae